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Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• Superdelegates •

                                   WOMAN
            Excuse me, sir, are you a superdelegate?

                                   MAN
            Yes, I am. Why?

                                   WOMAN
            GOT ONE!

                                   A crowd of people rush the man.

                                   OBAMA SUPPORTER
            Hillary Clinton is destroying the democratic party! She's a racist, divisive, corrupt agent
            of the status quo! Unless you announce your support for Obama, she'll hand the
            presidency to John McCain!

                                   CLINTON SUPPORTER
            He's the racist! If he wins the nomination, he and Jeremiah Write will enslave all white
            people! And he'll overturn Roe V Wade and take away women's right to vote!

                                   OBAMA SUPPORTER
            Hillary's campaign represents all that's wrong with politics in America - her "scorched
            earth" strategy will destroy the party, and the country, for decades! Obama's about
            Hope, Unity, and Progress, and if you don't join in, I'll kill you, ya son-of-a-bitch!

                                   MAN
            Now wait just a dallgarn minute! I don't like being threatened!

                                   CLINTON SUPPORTER
            You'll never hear a threat from Hillary Clinton! We love this party - and would hate to
            see something happen to it... I mean, if the party's biggest donors were to suddenly take
            back their money, leaving the party broke, well, that'd be a real shame, wouldn't it? Not
            saying they would, of course, but if she doesn't win, well - accidents happen, don't they?

                                   OBAMA SUPPORTER
            Barack Obama has raised twice what those donors have given, just in the time it took her
            to say that! We're spending more money than Elliot Spitzer at a whore convention!

                                   MAN
            You can't buy my vote!

                                   CLINTON SUPPORTER
            Of course not - it's all about issues! Which you can discuss at length in an intimate, one
            on-one meal with the returning first daughter, Chelsea.

                                   Chelsea Clinton enters, looking glamorous.

                                   CHELSEA CLINTON
            Hello, Mr. Superdelegate. I heard you want to make me breakfast?

                                   MAN
            Oh, come on now - the Clinton campaign is pimping out their own daughter just to try to
            sway superdelegates?

                                   CHELSEA CLINTON
            What? How dare you! How dare you! DAD!

                                   Bill Clinton enters dressed as a pimp

                                   MAN
            Bill Clinton is back out on the campaign trail?

                                   CHELSEA CLINTON
            It's safe - he's got an electric collar to shock him if he's about to say something stupid.

                                   BILL CLINTON
            *ZAP* 

                                   MAN
            Look - I don't appreciate all this pressure! My vote is going to reflect the will of the
            people, and you can't change that!

                                   OBAMA SUPPORTER
            YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

                                   CLINTON SUPPORTER
            (sings) Hillary for you and me! Bring back our democracy!

                                   MAN
            What are you doing?

                                   CLINTON SUPPORTER
            "Hillary 4 u and me"

                                   MAN
            ... Obama 08!


2009 - Nathaniel Jones