Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• McCain is Old •

            Senator McCain, aren't you too old to become president?

            Too old? Heck, President Harrison took office when he was 68!

            ... and died a month later.

            That was back in the 1800s - with today's life expectancies, I bet I'll last twice that long.

            But honestly - what can a man of your age bring to the table that Senetors Obama or
            Clinton couldn't?

            Experience, m'boy, experience.
            (to the tune of "The Lees of Old Virginia")
            I'm John Sidney McCain the Third, the only nominee
            With experience like  I've procured throughout our history!
            And I'm sure I will impress when I tell you I've success-
            fully completed far more than Vietnam-iney!
            I built the ships Columbus sailed, and I saw the sphinx unveiled
            You want experience? Then vote for John McC!
            I've fought in every war heretofore!
            My boyhood pet was a dinosaur!
            Made the world's first brew, and cheese fondue!
            The Gospel of John? I wrote that, too!
            I can't be outdone, cause God made me ready on Day One, 
            "Let there be light?" That was my idea!
            Yes sir by God, so
            Make a note to go and vote 
            For the world's first zygote!
            Democracy happens to be
            an idea I had when I was three!
            Need I explain how much you'll gain?
            It'll be just like having Bush again!
            Vote John McCain!

            Well, I'm convinced - any final thoughts, senator?

            Yes - when you go to vote in November, remember this: I'm not just some old white guy
            running for president - I'm the only old white guy running for president. Vote McCain!

2009 - Nathaniel Jones