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Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• John McAngry •

                                   REPORTER
            Whoah, Senator McCain, calm down there! No need to get so upset!

                                   MCCAIN
            Excuse me?

                                   REPORTER
            You look a little hot under the collar! A little peeved! A little cheesed, if I may say!

                                   MCCAIN
            I don't know what you're talking about. Now, if you'll excuse me - 

                                   REPORTER
            You sure bout that? You sure you're not about to lose your temper? Lash out? Bust your
            britches? Blow your top?

                                   MCCAIN
            What do you want? Who are you?

                                   REPORTER
            Oh! Such hostility! Senator, get a hold of yourself - this behavior is totally uncalled for!
            Are you all seeing this outburst? This explosion of rage? Hold your hand out like this.

                                   Reporter lifts McCain's hand, and rams his face into it.

                                   REPORTER
            Oh! Oh! He attacked me! Did you see it? He's vicious! Whadda temper! Did you get
            pictures? There's your headline - "John McAngry Attacks Reporter!" You all saw it!

                                   MCCAIN
            You did that yourself! You ran your face into my hand!

                                   REPORTER
            He's crazy! He's lost it! He's gone over the edge!

                                   MCCAIN
            Stop it! Get out out of here!

                                   REPORTER
            "He hollered after physically assaulting the unassuming reporter!" 

                                   MCCAIN
            I did no such thing! 

                                   REPORTER
            Listen to that ferocity! That fury! That fire! He's a ticking time bomb!

                                   MCCAIN
            You're crazy!

                                   REPORTER
            Think of that temper in the White House! Phone rings at 3am, and what does he say?
            "YOU WOKE ME UP - I'LL PUT A  NUCLEAR WAR ON YOUR FACE!!!!"

                                   MCCAIN
            Somebody get this guy out of here!

                                   REPORTER
            Is somebody waving a red cape, because this bull is mad! Who can tame this wild bull?
            (jumps up on MCCAIN's back) YEEEEE-HAAAA! (rides McCain like a bull)

                                   MCCAIN
            Get off'a me! (throws him off) What the hell are you doing! What - you want me to fly
            off the handle? You want me to admit I have a temper? You want me to say I'm angry?
            Yes! Yes, I am angry - because you're pissing me off! Now get the hell away from me!

                                   REPORTER
            ... you didn't have to yell. (cries)

                                   MCCAIN
            For pete's sake.. You know this is ridiculous! ...fine, look - I'm not mad at you, okay?

                                   REPORTER
            You're not? 

                                   MCCAIN
            No.

                                   REPORTER
            Whadda flip-flopper! Make up your mind, McInsane! Flip-fop! Flip-flop! Flip-flop!

                                   MCCAIN
            Get back here! (chases him off)


2009 - Nathaniel Jones