Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• Random Topical Songs •

It seems Obama’s pastor is on TV every night
I’m kinda getting sick of seeing Reverend Write.
Every time I see him, it makes me really nervous -
Who knew you could get in so much trouble
for sleeping through the service?

Though his job’s to spread the word found in the Good Book, he’ll
Make a lot more money when they give him a good book deal.
He’s causing such a scandal over what was in his sermons,
But at least he takes attention away from the Mormons! 

But I think I speak for all of Obama’s supporters
when I say I wish that Reverend Write’s sermons were shorter!

I heard McCain and Clinton want a gas tax holiday
I think it’s a good idea, with what prices are today.
But I admit I’m not so sure it’ll really help the nation
When it costs us the whole rebate just to drive to the gas station!

These prices are outrageous, and that can’t be ignored.
And this gas tax holiday’s the only holiday I can afford!
But I don’t think this tax break will get me very far,
since in order to buy a tank of gas, I had to sell my car.

Still, the gas tax may help soften these economic blows.
Gas will still cost and arm and a leg, but they’ll let you keep your toes!

I’m trying to stay healthy, so now I’m “living green,”
But the prices of organic foods are perfectly obscene.
I know that when it comes to health, nothing else can beat it,
But I think they call it “living green,” cause it costs so much green to eat it!
I’m not a fan of health food; I think that it tastes nasty.
But it’s either “change my diet,” or “get an angioplasty.”
They call it “living green,” and the reason I have traced:
Whenever I choke that garbage down, green’s the color of my face.

When it comes to living green, I’m really hard-core.
I buy products so earth-friendly, they biodegrade in the store!
I only buy recycled, and get all my foods in bulk,
But the greenest is when I get mad, I turn into the Hulk! 

NASA needs some people to lie in bed for ninety days
I don’t think that I could do it, no matter what it pays
But I bet they hire Dubya as soon as he hears
that he’s got what it takes – he’s been lying for eight years!

California legalized same-sex marriage yesterday
And I think that’s great, even though I am not gay.
With gay marriage, legal pot, and other bonuses tossed in,
It might convince the Californian’s to move back out of Austin!

"Brother, Can You Space a Dime"
Once I had a fortune in the bank, oh man, my life was sublime!
Once I had a fortune, now in the tank – thanks to mortgages sub-prime!
Had a corner office – what a view! – Now I am down on my luck.
Had a corner office – I still do – begging people for a buck!

"Bad to the Bone"
This year’s summer games, should be called “summer shames!
‘Cause some people in China, I don’t wanna name names,
Violate human rights, and keep actin’ like punks!
Because of the way, that they’re treatin’ the monks!
They’re mean to the monks!
Mean to the monks!
in Tib-b-b-b-bet!
in Tib-b-b-b-bet!
Mean to the monks!

"Surfin' USA"
In your next interrogation
try a new technique!
A new form of motivation
to make the bad guys speak!
Cover their face with some plastic
and then the water’s poured
There is nothing so fantastic
as when you waterboard!

Though some may say that it’s torture (in a way, sure, so to speak)
and it shouldn’t be done (don’t tell the UN– they’d freak)
But you’ve never been more sure (certainty is what you seek)
that it’s a lot of fun! (enhanced interrogation technique)
So the next time you’re down in (likely sometime late next week)
Guantanamo Bay (good cigars there)
simulate some drownin’
the waterboardin way!

2009 - Nathaniel Jones