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Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• Bank Robbers •



                                   TONY is having trouble with his mask.

                                   JENNY
            Welcome to Security First Trust Bank. Can I help you?

                                   TONY
            Yeah, thanks, I can't get this thing to tie right.

                                   Jenny ties the mask on. Tony hands note
                                   to Jenny

                                   JENNY
            "A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter"

                                   TONY
            Dangit, I brought the wrong... can I use your pen? ... It's
            my first day.

                                   JENNY
            "Please put all of your money in a bag. PS - don't press the
            silent alarm, or you'll be sorry. Thank you."

                                   Jenny hands over cash, Tony leaves. He
                                   comes back in.

                                   TONY
            Yeah, sorry - I was just looking through here, and, there are
            a lot of fifties and hundreds - could I get change for those?

                                   JENNY
            I'm sorry - you'll have to talk to the to other teller. All
            my money is in that bag. 

                                   TONY
            Oh, right. Okay.

                                   CUSTOMER
            Hey, you can't cut in line, we're waiting over here!

                                   Tony gets in line. ROBBER enters.

                                   ROBBER
            Ladies and gentlemen, do as your told, and nobody gets hurt!
            You! Put all of your money into a bag!

                                   JENNY
            I already did. That guy has it.

                                   ROBBER
            Why do you have it?

                                   TONY
            Oh, me? I robbed this place just a second ago.

                                   ROBBER
            Oh - talk about bad timing. Are you in line?

                                   TONY
            Well, thing is, she gave me mostly hundreds, so I wanted to
            see if I could get change. ... it's my first day.

                                   ROBBER 2 enters.

                                   ROBBER 2
            This is a heist! Everyone stay calm, I only want your money;
            don't make me take your lives as well.

                                   TONY
            I should write that down. Can I borrow your pen again?

                                   ROBBER 2
            Shut up! Now, all the money in a bag! And don't try any
            funny... That you, Bruce? What are you doing here?

                                   ROBBER
            I came to rob the bank, but this guy got it first.

                                   ROBBER 2
            Well what do you know about that. Say, I don't think I've
            seen you around before - were you at the convention?

                                   JENNY
            Okay, you know what, why don't you all three just give the
            money back to me - the police'll be here any minute.

                                   ROBBERS
            Yipe!

                                   TONY
            You pressed the silent alarm? But I said you'd be sorry!

                                   JENNY
            Yeah, but you didn't have a gun or anything.

                                   TONY
            ... It's my first day.

                                   Jenny takes and heads off.

                                   CUSTOMER
            Hey, you can't take that money! You work here!

                                   JENNY
            Yeah, well... it's my last day.


2009 - Nathaniel Jones