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Official website of Seattle-area actor and writer Nathaniel Jones

• Brians •

               BRIAN and CHRIS sit at a table in a small coffee shop. CHRIS
               is trying to read the newspaper, while BRIAN plays with a
               chess board they have set up.

                                   BRIAN
                         Look - I don't see what the big
                         deal is.

                                   CHRIS
                         The big deal? It's my brain we're
                         talking about here!

                                   BRIAN
                         Look, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't
                         something I had to do. Okay?

                                   CHRIS
                         I know - you've explained it to me,
                         it's just that I'm kind of using my
                         brain right now. Why can't you just
                         go out into the street and find
                         someone? A dark alley?

                                   BRIAN
                         A dark alley! Chris, I'm - I want
                         to do this right. I mean... look,
                         this is hard for me. If I don't get
                         some of your brain, I'll die. Do
                         you understand?

                                   CHRIS
                         I understand.

                                   BRIAN
                         I'm trying to make this as easy for
                         you as possible. I've got a doctor
                         lined up - all you have to do is go
                         in, they'll give you some gas so
                         you'll sleep through everything,
                         and when you wake up, perfectly
                         fine (minus a little bit of brain
                         tissue), and I can go on living for
                         another day.

                                   CHRIS
                         I know. Brian, I know, and don't
                         think I'm unappreciative. It's just
                         that - I don't really see the point
                         of it!

                                   BRIAN
                         The point? It's my life!

                                   CHRIS
                         A day of your life! Let's say I do
                         it - I cut out a piece of my brain.
                         You eat it. Seriously - how long
                         can one chunk of brain hold you
                         over? A day at the most? What will
                         you do tomorrow? You know you'll
                         have to feast again.

                                   BRIAN
                         Tomorrow - I'll cross that bridge
                         when I come to it. Listen... I
                         didn't chose this. If I could all
                         of a sudden stop being a zombie, I
                         would. But I can't. Do you have any
                         idea what it's like when you're
                         neighbor tries to eat you? Have you
                         ever had that experience?

                                   CHRIS
                         No.

                                   BRIAN
                         Yeah, well I have. Old Man Wilson
                         didn't ask before he bit into me,
                         and now I'm stuck forever as one of
                         the undead walking the earth. I
                         don't want to force that on anyone
                         else. So I'm asking you - please -
                         donate a piece of your brain. Just
                         enough to tide me over till
                         tomorrow.

                                   CHRIS
                         What will I forget?

                                   BRIAN
                         What?

                                   CHRIS
                         If I cut out a piece of my brain,
                         what will I forget?

                                   BRIAN
                         I don't know - they're good
                         doctors, you can probably request
                         something. The fourth grade? Senior
                         prom? That summer you sold knives?

                                   CHRIS
                         Well, I... what if I die? Will I...
                         come back?

                                   BRIAN
                         No - that's the point. The doctor
                         cuts out a piece of your brain, and
                         then gives it to me. I don't get
                         anywhere near you. You'll be safe.

                                   CHRIS
                         I, ah - alright, I'm not agreeing
                         completely, but let's go see the
                         doctor.

                                   BRIAN
                         Oh man - thanks. You don't know how
                         much I appreciate this.

                                   CHRIS
                         Okay, okay. Just don't come back
                         asking for another piece.

                                   BRIAN
                         Oh, but you hardly ever use it
                         anyway.

                                   CHRIS
                         Hey!

                                   BRIAN
                         Oh, sorry. I won't ask for any more
                         - I know you don't have that much
                         to begin with.

                                   CHRIS
                         You keep this up, I'll change my
                         mind.

                                   BRIAN
                         Mmm... mind.

               Exeunt.


2009 - Nathaniel Jones